Upgrades Feel Funny

I said what I said. Upgrades feel funny. Improvements. Whatever you want to call them. They feel funny, because they’re just changes. Changes are changes, and the gradual changes sometimes don’t even seem gradual enough. They feel weird because they’re so noticeable at times. You seem to become a person you don’t even recognize. Believe that you can change in the ways that you’ve asked for. Of course it’s tempting to go back to old ways for comfort depending on the type of changes you’re making.

Changing can feel funny because they can produce a domino or butterfly effect. Who I was operating as out of survival is expired and outdated, but oh so familiar. Frustrating yet familiar and comforting on some level. So any slight change to a comfort zone can seem so big and frightening. Being who you really would like to be feels so surreal and exciting. Yet the work doesn’t stop. Blessings are popping up everywhere and so is new work. That’s what’s hitting me lately lol.

New work can show up as spiritual, emotional observations that may feel so foreign to focus on. Because general things that you may be improving about yourself or accepting about yourself, change and improve other things. You may be finding more peace in your life and laughing more can be a byproduct of it. You may have a conscious moment where you don’t recognize yourself not being so serious anymore. Me, telling myself no? So I can tell myself yes to better? Yeah that’s a personal observation lol and it’s kicking my ass, but I will triumph as always.

You may be putting yourself first more often and even shock yourself. You may also still feel guilt about putting yourself first. It’s okay. You deserve pleasure, and you deserve peace, so give yourself a break about choosing you this time. And it will be easier the next time.

It’s Taurus season, but this past full moon was a Scorpio Moon, Taurus’ partner in crime– its opposite sign. Scorpio is about transforming and getting rid of old shit, naturally. And Taurus is about getting new shit, and building shit! The more I learn about the stars, the more life makes sense. Purging and collecting are two obviously different tasks! So having to do both can be uncomfortable! Transition, Transformation! Delicious cringe! Bittersweet moments! Refreshing release.

So now the moon is waning, getting smaller, turning, and fading away for the next moon cycle. And so is the old stuff we’ve turned away from. It’s okay to let it happen.